darn

red means you're pissed off and or upset and or angry right?
and there's nothing that can help unless you're curled under the covers or cry.
and i think putting the fonts in bold shows that you're really upset.
maybe not to you. but to me.

my jaw fucking hurts!!
it feels as though someone is using that thingy dentists use to pluck your teeth out.
only thing is he plucks them one by one.
my jaw feels as though someone is using multiple thingys to pluck everything out!
FUCK!!
its throbbing and i can't even drink from a fucking straw!
anything! i can't even eat, drink or anything!

all i kept thinking of all morning is how the hell am i ever going to get through the drive home since no one drives me home and i am all alone.
what if i banged someone's car or knocked someone down?
the only thing that helped on the drive home is putting the volume of the speakers up to 50 and letting the music blast through your ears.
it really helped in distracting me.
nothing beats the feeling of atreyu and a7x screaming at you and the speed of 100km per hour! non-stop. all the way home.
and since i'm online, it means i got home safe and sound.
without a scratch on anything.
thank you god. i love you and atreyu and a7x.

and now, all i'm thinking of is how the hell am i going to get to school and back home if aunty muriel were to pop by for a visit.
she's going to give me fucking cramps and make me rant and whine all day long.
skip school? ahh! to hell with skipping school.
i'm going to miss alot of important things!

i want hugs. sigh.
i really do.
to michele, i'm sorry if i seemed distant and not responding to anything you say.
i can barely talk. let alone rant and whine.
the ranting and whining was manageable but with a good amount of pain.
i'm sorry. you know i love you right?

i mean it about the hugs. who is willing to right now?