accidents

i update with tears and sorrow. nothing, and i mean nothing, could ever knock today off the top of the charts for ' the worst days ever'.

i got into an accident again.
and not just any normal one where you knock into someone else's car. mine knocked into the goddamn lorry.
or truck.
whatever. omgwtf
it was so bad i actually reached school at 8 in the morning. i woke up late and left the house late.
so i guess if i hadn't gone to school i'd still have been in bed. sigh....

here are a few pictures of my car. ):

my aunty isn't afraid that i might die in a car crash should it happen one day. instead, she's afraid that the car might get hijacked or i might get kidnapped.
what are the differences between those two?
i suppose when you die your soul flies up to heaven and you start wearing robes and hold a harp and have a halo around your head and when you're kidnapped, there are possibilities where the kidnapper might torture you to insanity and then kill you.
so maybe my aunty likes the image of the soul flying up to heaven but she cannot stomach the thought of being kidnapped and then tortured.
and then killed.
my mom's no different.
they care so much about the car that the thought that i might have been seriously injured didn't occur to them. they were all, 'you like to bring problems.' or 'you take things for granted.' or 'you're not matured enough.'
so, maturity is measured by how well you drive is it?
in that case, my aunty's real immature. my mom too.
whatever. i couldn't care less.

aunt and mom, (mostly to aunt)
you wanna take the car back, fine. go ahead. sell it. do whatever you please.
all you have to do is just wake up at 6.30 every morning to fetch me to goddamn school.
all right? (:
you do that, and you can take the car back.
otherwise, find me a way to go to school.
increase my allowance so i can take the cab or the bus.
kick me out of the house so i can move in with shiang so he can fetch me.
whatever.
you don't care if i get too sleepy on the road and die.
but you care if i get hijacked. obviously i don't mean much.
the car means more.
normal people who knows of the accident their kid gets into will say, 'never mind. at least you're ok.'
you on the other hand criticise me for this and that, scold me for la and da, scream at me for ding and dong. you don't care about the life because the life that you keep yelling at is responsible for your car. her life is only worth the amount with which you bought the car.
ah well. at least i'm worth a few thousand. (:
on the other hand, you have no rights to criticize shiang because after all, he is not your son.
even he gets worried more often about me driving alone.
not only that, you demand respect from people without earning it. you think that by acting like a big shot and with a lanci look (i prefer calling it the cock stare), people will respect you is it?
always acting like you're so nice to my friends and then expecting respect the next time you see them. puh-lease.
so, reflect on yourself before you criticize others.
mom, i know your birthday's coming up. and i'm really sorry to do this to you. but i really couldn't help. its just out of my control.
it really is. i don't do things on purpose.

sigh..... i won't go into detail about how the accident happened. its too painful and i've been crying since 1 and i just can't deal with it right now.
bye.