Emptiness.

i have alot of things in my mind. but everytime i reach out for the keyboard, my mind draws a blank.

its so hard to put into words. its so hard to explain myself in so few words. its hard to face things when they aren't going the way you had expected it to. its hard to grasp at what really is bothering you. when you try to explain yourself, every single word you use tend to fall hollow. its as if whatever you just said cannot justify how you really feel. it cannot really describe. and then you end up all empty. nothing more, nothing less.

i wish i could help you out in every way that you could be helped. but how can i when you're not letting me in? how can i help when you don't say anything? how can i assure you that i won't run when reality starts biting at our private little bubble? i won't run. i swear. but the way you've been behaving lately makes me think that you are going to be the one to pick yourself up and leave. i'm sorry if i seem to be the person that cannot adapt to changes easily. but believe me, i am trying. just don't give up hope on things. i may seem like i'm giving up. but i won't. okay? my cousin has said that she believed me to be the type of person that can live through the roughest storm and survive. so, maybe, in that one sentence, she has made me believe that maybe i am a fighter(?), you know? so please. don't give up hope.

i love you.